The Supports That Changed Everything for Our Family (And Might for Yours, Too)

I still remember the day I picked up The Explosive Child by Dr. Ross Greene. It was one of those moments you don’t forget—where everything shifts. For the first time, I felt like someone truly understood what was going on with my child. Not just the behaviors people saw on the outside, but the struggle happening underneath.

What followed wasn’t an overnight transformation, but it was a turning point. I started to look at behavior differently—not as something to fix or control, but as something to understand. I realized that if I wanted to support my child well, I had to get curious about their brain, their nervous system, and the systems around them that didn’t always make space for their needs.

Some of what helped us might surprise you. And maybe that’s exactly what you need to hear right now.

Here are three things that truly made a difference in our family’s journey—supports that gave us new language, new tools, and most importantly… new hope.

1. Nervous-System-Based Chiropractic Care

I’ll be honest—I didn’t expect this to be part of our story. But when you’re parenting a child who lives in a state of near-constant dysregulation, you start asking new questions.

We found a chiropractor trained in nervous system support—not just adjustments, but care that focused on regulation, stress response, and sensory integration. And what we noticed wasn’t a dramatic before-and-after. It was small shifts, consistently over time: better sleep, calmer transitions, fewer blowups, more recovery after hard days.

When the body feels safer, everything else becomes more possible. For our child, this kind of care helped lay a foundation that other strategies could finally build on.

2. A Brain-Based Understanding of Behavior

Understanding what was happening inside the brain helped us respond differently to what we were seeing on the outside.

We started seeing behavior not as defiance or avoidance, but as communication. And when you start from that belief—that your child isn’t giving you a hard time, they’re having a hard time—everything changes.

This brain-based lens didn’t just help us at home. It changed how we approached support at school, too. We began to understand that things like school refusal weren’t a choice—they were a nervous system response. That traditional consequences weren’t going to “fix” what wasn’t defiance in the first place.

The more we understood about executive functioning, co-regulation, and stress response, the more empowered we felt to ask for support that actually fit our child’s needs.

3. An Advocate Who Knew the System—So I Could Stay Present for My Child

As someone with years of experience in both general and special education, I knew how the IEP process worked. I understood evaluations, services, goal-writing, and the procedural maze schools operate within. I even trained other educators on these very things.

But when it’s your own child?

It’s different.

I knew what to ask for. I knew what was missing. But in the moments when my child’s needs were misunderstood—or when it felt like I was the only one seeing the full picture—it was hard to stay grounded. I felt the pressure of having to carry everything: the facts, the emotions, the clarity, the calm.

Bringing in an advocate didn’t mean I lacked knowledge. It meant I gave myself permission to be a parent.

Having someone walk alongside us—who understood the system and understood kids like mine—helped me stay focused on what mattered most. It wasn’t about having someone speak for me. It was about having someone help hold the weight.

And honestly? That was everything.

I share this not as a checklist to copy, but as an invitation: if something hasn’t been working, it doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong. It might just mean it’s time to look in a new direction.

There are supports out there that honor your child’s nervous system, respect their brain, and see the whole human in front of you. And you don’t have to wait for crisis to start exploring them.

If you want to keep learning, hear more stories like this, and get tools that help you advocate from a place of confidence, I’d love to stay connected

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Because your child deserves support that’s not just available—but aligned.

And so do you.

Always Walking With You — Abbey