Is This Good IEP Advice? How to Know Who (and What) to Trust
If you’re a parent navigating the world of IEPs, chances are you’ve turned to the internet—Facebook groups, forums, maybe even TikTok—for support and advice. And while the intention behind most posts is often good, I’ve seen far too many parents feel more overwhelmed, misled, or confused after reading “helpful” advice online.
The truth is: not all IEP advice is created equal. In fact, some of it can lead you down the wrong path entirely—especially when it comes from well-meaning strangers who don’t know your child, your team, or your state’s laws.
After sitting on every side of the IEP table—as a teacher, an advocate, and a parent—I know how hard it is to figure out who to trust and what to do. So today, I want to help you build your “IEP filter” so you can feel confident about the advice you’re taking in and, more importantly, the decisions you’re making for your child.
Step 1: Always Ask, “Is This State-Specific?”
Special education law is federal, but how it’s implemented varies state by state. Something that’s true in California might not be true in Colorado. That’s why any time someone says, “Schools have to do X,” your first question should be: What state is this in?
It’s also important to know your own state’s special education timelines, eligibility criteria, and dispute resolution options. A trusted advocate or your state’s Parent Training and Information Center can help you with that.
Step 2: Check the Source’s Experience
When someone gives advice—whether it’s in a Facebook group or during a school meeting—ask yourself:
What perspective is this coming from?
Are they a parent with a very different child or school situation?
Are they a teacher who may not know your state laws?
Are they a lawyer or advocate who works in your region?
Experience matters—but context matters just as much. You want guidance from someone who understands both the emotional realities and the procedural framework of the IEP process.
Step 3: Beware of Absolutes
Any advice that starts with “They can’t do that” or “They have to do this” should raise a red flag. Special education is a legal process, but it’s also filled with nuance. Rarely is there a one-size-fits-all answer.
Instead of leaning on absolutes, look for advice that helps you ask better questions, interpret your child’s unique data, or brainstorm creative solutions with your IEP team.
Step 4: Look for People Who Want to Empower You
The best advice won’t just tell you what to do—it will teach you how the system works so you can make informed choices long after the conversation ends.
My own advocacy journey started when I read The Explosive Child and finally felt like someone understood what my child was going through. That book changed how I showed up for my son—and for my students. But it wasn’t until I sat at my own child’s IEP table that I understood the power of informed parent advocacy.
That’s why I now teach families how the IEP process works, how schools operate, and how to build a plan that supports not just the current school year, but their child’s whole future.
Want More Trusted IEP Support?
If you’re tired of sorting through the noise and ready to get clear, actionable help that’s grounded in both professional expertise and lived experience, I invite you to join my email list. You’ll get thoughtful insights, helpful tools, and practical next steps that actually make a difference.
Because your child deserves more than just a plan that gets them through the day.
They deserve a plan that helps them thrive.
And I’d be honored to walk with you on that journey.
